“id send you this post but u are dead to me” is such a strange feeling. im retreating to the woods
When you stumble across a meme that perfectly fits the niche of someone you no longer talk to…. like we have parted ways for good reasons but i’m still left with the knowledge that this would make you laugh. What do i do with that
the fear men instill in women by virtue of existing in their vicinity is something men, especially white men, need to be aware of.
You could think you’re the nicest guy in the world but a woman sees you as a threat. Because you are! You are one. You starting a conversation on the train with a woman isn’t “being friendly”. It is trapping her in an interaction she cannot leave of her own consent out of fear of retaliation. You asking where she’s headed isn’t “small talk”. It is invasive and makes her fear for her safety by being followed. Your presence forces women to consider safety before comfort or agency. Be conscious of that when you interact with women in public space.
There is no bubble above someone’s head that reads ‘he’s safe’ or ‘watch out for this one’. We cannot distinguish between them from 30 seconds of interaction.
i’ll repeat things like this to guys and they’ll say, “but how do i reassure her that i’m safe and i’m on her side”
YOU CAN’T
YOUR REFLEXIVE DESIRE TO PROVE HER FEARS WRONG COMES FROM THE SAME INTERNALIZED MISOGYNY AS THE VIOLENCE SHE’S AFRAID OF
YOU’RE MAKING IT ABOUT YOU AGAIN
(then there’s the flip side, the guys who gleefully post that they were offended there was a woman being wary of them and they say “i’ll show her to be scared of me” and they scare her)
you really wanna help the woman on the street who’s scared of you?
work to change the society that produces the men she’s scared of
you don’t stop oppression by changing the behavior of the oppressed
